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Yeah I'm not sure about this one. At the very end of the cover I feel like you got to an interesting place layering the sounds, but I feel like otherwise it's missing a purpose.

What were you thinking about while making this? It feels like the sort of song you end up with when your goal is just "I'm going to make a song", rather than for example, "I really like how Fallen Down expresses expresses the empty sadness of defeat, and slowly adds a bit of warmth, as if trying to tell you to stay determined. I want to try to do that, but a bit better."

It _is_ possible to make cool songs by just setting up a pattern and playing with it in interesting ways. However, I feel like any song is going to convey some sort of emotion, if only a lack of it. Thinking about how to convey emotions in songs might be the next thing you need to do to improve your music. Also remember to think about the stories that a progression through different emotions can tell.

To me, the cover sounds slightly happy most of the time, maybe if you accentuated that, you could say something about how the original might change after a good ending of the game.

Anyway, it's always good to get stuff like this out there, so you can look at it (and have others look at it) from a different perspective. Looking forward to what you do next!

Birdinator99 responds:

I'm not surprised you have this opinion, given that you've played the game yourself! I agree that my usual mechanical approach kind of took this piece out of context, removing some of the emotional content in the process. I like to get caught up with how I want the drums to sound, how loud the snare is, and other things that ultimately are not a substitute for an overall vision for the direction of the song -- which seems to be the component you (and I) find to be lacking here.

I guess basically I just need a different game plan, and then to build the sounds and patterns off of that, as opposed to thinking about those things first.

Haha, I don't think this sounds happy, though. Now that I'm re-listening a while later, I can't really pick a defining emotion. It's just sort of, aimless, plodding along, which fits with what you've already brought up. It swells at the end, but there's nothing there to build upon...

This'll probably end up on the more forgettable side of my works, but you're right, its inclusion in my library is just as important as any other piece.

Thanks for stopping by!

Overall, I like it. All of the additions and tweaks you made fit the source material well, especially the riff you added just before fading out.

One gripe I have is that this feels like the sort of song I'd queue up two or three times in my music player before moving on to another song, and the fade out messes with that. I think it would have been more appropriate to make it loop instead.

The other thing I noticed is with the... organ? Is it an organ? I'll clarify that with you later, but anyway, the source had more jazzy detail in the timing of the organ's notes, and I don't think the remix managed to capture or improve on that very well. The source times the start of its notes well and cuts them off in interesting ways, where I feel like your notes start and end more evenly with the beat.

To sum up, I think the _sounds_ that you you used were cleaner and more interesting, and your additions were well chosen and well placed, but the original was able to put more personality into its organ.

Looking forward to hearing what you make next!

Birdinator99 responds:

Glad you like it. I had fun with that bass pattern! I made some quick changes to the organ's articulation to try and make it more interesting -- good catch, I wasn't thinking about that.

I agree that it might sound more natural as a loop, but I when I was making this, I was set on adding in the solo at 1:05. To me, the solo is a more notable moment in a song that otherwise feels like a background track (because it originally was). So, in this way, I think my cover came out feeling a little more like a structured song, and therefore I felt it needed a more "proper" ending. You could argue that a fade out doesn't really fit that bill, but I hope you get what I mean. I'm sure it would work as a loop too.

Thanks bruh!

I guess this'll be a review with a bit of insider information, but that's fine too I suppose.

I like the way you set the stage for the main melody of the original, and think the instruments you chose for it fit quite well.

I'm unsure what to think of the section with the tambourine, drumsticks, and cardboard. Maybe they fit, maybe they don't, maybe they're a bit quiet, but perhaps if they were any louder it would colour the song in a way you hadn't intended. The sounds probably don't sound as well put together as the regular synthetic instruments you use. Overall I think this section feels a bit out of place as it is now, but don't know how to improve it.

I did however like the use of the garbage can drum, and think it fits well where you have it. The tambourine at the end was a surprise and I think it fits. I didn't notice any other recorded sounds.

This song has quite the different feel from most of your previous work, and I think it went quite well. Good job. I look forward to your next piece!

Birdinator99 responds:

Glad you like the intro and initial arrangement!

Haha, that middle section. I think overall, the tambourine was important to add. It also fit well in the outro, which you noticed as well. I have no regrets about that choice. The sticks and cardboard aren't particularly strong, but I think the result is reasonable given our recording "experience", hahaha. That's just part of the challenge of recording live instruments, and I was eager to kind of get my feet wet in that regard. I think next time we do something like this, we'll be more prepared, and I might have better arrangement ideas.

I also think the can sounds cool! Pretty good result we good out of that. 2:32-3:12 is where the music stand and Nerf gun are. I think the fact that you didn't notice them is a testament to how well they fit, actually; they didn't stick out in a bad way, that is. At least not to me. The music stand is the shaker-like sound (panned left and right), and the gun is the clicking sound panned straight up the middle!

It's fun to try something new, isn't it? Weeeeeeeeeee

I have a website: http://sites.google. com/site/kayorent/


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Joined on 12/23/09

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